As it turns out the closer I get to fear and the longer I stick around fear the better I get to know fear. Over the last six months or so many of you have heard me refer to "the cliff." For those of you who don't know to what I refer, I will tell you: From the time I began planning this trip in December 2012/January 2013 an image developed in my mind that I carried with me on a daily basis.
I am standing on the edge of a cliff. What I see in front of me is endless blue sky (and some clouds) and also the sense that what lay before me is completely unknown. I am privileged enough and lucky enough that also in this image was a vast semi circle of people (comprised of family, friends and dear ones) standing behind me urging me on.
I am 100% sure that I would NOT have been able to take the leap without that support. Having said that, standing on the edge of a cliff for six months was not very comfortable. I would continue to go about my work day thankful for the mundane tasks that needed to be completed. Every so often the image of the cliff would surface, I would greet it, and then go on about my day. Over the course of this six month relationship we got to know each other quite well. The feeling of a slightly elevated heart rate and slight pounding in the chest that usually accompanied this image did not dissipate, I just learned to recognize that they were a part of the standing on the edge of a cliff experience.
There is another very important aspect to this fear/cliff experience. RIGHT before I take the leap comes a huge NOOOOOOO!!!!! along with an endless list of reasons why this is a bad idea. NOTE: these reasons usually are easily identified as they encompass all of the potentially catastrophic things that may/might/could happen. Again, having lived with this friend for eight months now I am very familiar with its habits. Therefore, it is much easier to recognize that the fear is coming to pay a visit, that those thoughts are there to theoretically protect me, and then I get to use my rational mind to assess whether or not those thoughts are worth heeding.
It is an incredibly liberating experience to get to know this fear, I highly recommend it. I don't believe that it requires traveling around the world, but rather just putting oneself out of his/her comfort zone which will be different for each person.
So as you all know, I took the leap, i jumped off the cliff and with all of your support I am now flying.
I hope I get to greet each of you amidst the clouds as you take your own leaps this coming year.
B'ahava,
Shoshana
You are a blessing! Thank you for this image, for sharing so generously your precious and deep soul thoughts; for allowing me to feel simultaneously hugged by you and hugging you. How appropriate this is during the month of Elul and we contemplate, introspect and set our best intentions on the "me" we want to strive to become in the new (Jewish) year. I wish for you the appreciation and love for "you" (and for the "us") that oozes out of your words. I know "you will [continue to]greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror,
ReplyDeleteand each will smile at the other's welcome". I am smiling at you, too. I love you all the way to Israel, Australia, New Zealand, India, Guatemala and back. Ima